a chipper melancholy.

melancholy: noun 1. a gloomy state of mind

and THAT i must admit.... is how i'm feeling this moment.

i also looked up the word melancholy on google.

it produced THIS for me.

i sure do think she looks quite melancholy, and looks a lot like

the way i am feeling at the moment and yet....

LOOK she got ready for the day. even the smallest

effort of putting on a hat and a sweater.

she may be melancholy BUT she's quite alright.

i am feeling quite melancholy.

 i had surgery on both my feet. leaving me immobile (is that a word?)

my boyfriend is also 744 miles away from me.(which adds up to 11 hours.)

i have no money. so my trip to santa cruz? cancelled.

no more visiting corey.

moving back to boise in july/early august?

slim chance.

four things..... and i feel like my life is ruined.

but wait!!

oh yes, corey, the picker upper of my emotions....

reminds me that being apart DOES suck.

but i have to think in the back of my head

 that i'll see him again and waiting is gonna be hard.

but that's what people do in devoted relationships.

they go all out.

3 months apart. 9 months together.

that i can handle. and that one thing being fixed inside my head.

makes me feel that much less melancholy.

and a lot more...... chipper.

i'm a girl, things can be fixed that easily.

oh goodbyes.

parting is such sweet sorrow.  

last week i had the pleasure and pain of packing up my things from boise and coming back home. pleasure of leaving that little room of mine and annoying classes and pain of saying goodbye to my friends for the summer and mostly saying goodbye to corey.(which took about an hour of saying goodbye and hugs and kisses and being reassured that everything will be okay.) i sure do already miss him, and i constantly remind him. CONSTANTLY. but he just tells me that he misses me all the time too so i don't feel as pathetic. only a couple months RIGHT!? UGH, still feels like forever.

and THEN there is my foot surgery coming up on monday that i'm not stoked about at all. both feet getting work done to fix my annoying heels so i'll be in walking boots and not have any way of making money which causes me not being able to afford the trip to santa cruz to see reggie, kenzie, and corey. AS WELL AS not being able to afford rent for the house a bunch of us girls want to get. and let me tell you, the nagging from my father about wanting to know how i'm going to get everything done is HORRIBLE. and it makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes but whatever, i HAVE to end back up in boise or i may commit a crime.

a n y w a y s

the other day before corey had to go camping for some program he's doing we made a list of places we have always thought would be cool places to kiss and paces we already have i know i know. but i'd like to share. i do.

[:

1. on the bridge over boise river.

2. in the park. middle of night.

3. middle of downtown in the fountain.

4. in the rain.

5. in the snow.

6. in the ocean.

7. in the river.

8. under the stars/shooting star.

9. on the bench at tablerock.

10. on a roof.

11. on the smurf turf (football field)

12. on the basketball court.

13. ringing in new years.

14. in the middle of an argument.

15. on a beach.

16. in the middle of an ice rink.

17. in every building on campus.

18. on every floor of the library.

19. spiderman upside-down.

20. i don't have another one... but i didn't like ending on 19.

that is all for now.

Happy Birthday

So two days ago was, I’m
happy to announce, my nineteenth birthday. YES, it was absolutely wonderful. [:

Let me explain May 2^nd first, it had been a pretty fair day but I wasn’t in the best of moods, PMSing and all my friends and Corey had to bear with me and we all hung out inside because the weather was absolutely awful! So it gets to be around eleven fortyat night when I’m laying in bed talking to Corey as he takes pictures of
absolutely everything in my room when he gets a all from someone and says “Hey I have to hurry and grab something and do a couple things but it won’t take me too long and I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.” Since Corey is super spontaneous I didn’t think anything of it at all so I said, “Okay! Just text me when you’re finished and I’ll come let you back into my building.” Well….. ten minutes later Corey texts me and asks me to let him in so I walk out of my door into the hallway and what is waiting there for me?......... A dozen red roses, a little cake, my favorite candy, gum, and a CD. I didn’t even stop to look at them very closely because I ran down the stairs and out the door (mind you….. this felt like a movie scene to me, and I enjoyed every minute of it) anyways, I run out the door and don’t see Corey. So I’m literally slow motion spinning in circles trying to find him and when I look up BAM he’s leaning against the handrail and he walks over to me and kisses me like a zillion times and told me happy birthday. [: So here’s my thing, I may never have rang in the new year with a kiss but I rang in my nineteenth birthday was several!!

Which leads into my actual birthday. [: FINALLY. I wake up to tonnnnnns of text messages and facebook posts wishing me happy birthday which always nice. Some you can actually tell are sincere as well. So I get ready for class at six which was fine, whatever, and at one thirty I get another text  rom  Corey saying… Come get the door for me. So I go get the door and he has a drink from Starbucks for me and tells me happy birthday again. (I’m spoiled. :D) So then I spent the rest of my day out in the sun, hanging out with all of my friends in my new Braves Jersey that I got from my parents, and then I ended up my night with a trip to Aspen Leaf, THEE BEST frozen yogurt place in the world, which again Corey bough for me, and ended my night with a phone call from my family singing me happy birthday and me blowing out my pretend candles.

Yep…. I would like to
tell everyone to be jealous. Verrrry jealous. But that would be rude of course.
So I won’t. [: